"Tristessa" vs "You"

"You" is a popular TV show that has taken the world by storm. It tells the story of Joe Goldberg, a bookstore manager who becomes obsessed with a customer named Beck. The show is a psychological thriller that explores themes of love, obsession, and the darker side of human nature. While the show is not directly connected to the book Tristessa, there are some similarities in the way they explore similar themes.

Tristessa is a novel written by Jack Kerouac that was published in 1960. It tells the story of a young writer who falls in love with a drug-addicted prostitute named Tristessa. The novel is a meditation on love, addiction, and the human condition. While the book and the show may seem vastly different, they both explore the darker side of human nature and the consequences of obsession.

The main character in You, Joe Goldberg, is a complex and deeply flawed character. He becomes obsessed with Beck, stalking her online and in person, and eventually committing murder in his pursuit of her. The show explores the idea of love as an obsession and the lengths that people will go to in order to attain it. This theme is also explored in Tristessa, as the protagonist becomes addicted to Tristessa, both emotionally and physically. He sees her as the answer to all his problems and becomes obsessed with her in much the same way that Joe Goldberg becomes obsessed with Beck.

Another similarity between the two works is the exploration of addiction. Tristessa is a drug addict, and the protagonist becomes addicted to her, seeing her addiction as a way to escape from his own problems. In You, Joe Goldberg is addicted to love, and his pursuit of Beck becomes an all-consuming addiction that leads him down a dark path. Both works explore the destructive nature of addiction and the way it can take over a person's life.

Finally, both You and Tristessa explore the darker side of human nature. They both delve into the depths of the human psyche, exploring the impulses and desires that can drive people to do terrible things. In You, Joe Goldberg is a deeply flawed character who commits murder in his pursuit of love. In Tristessa, the protagonist becomes involved in the seedy world of drugs and prostitution, exploring the darker side of society. Both works illuminate the darker aspects of human nature and force the reader/viewer to confront uncomfortable truths.

In conclusion, while You and Tristessa may seem vastly different, they explore similar themes and ideas. Both works delve into the darker side of human nature, exploring themes of love, obsession, addiction, and the human condition. They force the reader/viewer to confront uncomfortable truths and shine a light on the darker aspects of society. Whether you prefer the fast-paced action of You or the more introspective style of Tristessa, both works are worth exploring for anyone interested in exploring the darker side of human nature.

The Modern-Day Pear Tree Love

https://youtu.be/pYf5vVw0mEk https://youtu.be/pYf5vVw0mEk

Experiences and their effects on love

Love is an emotion that shapes all of us in different ways. Since we all have different experiences with it, it can change the way we think about love can be vastly different. It can bring us joy and fulfillment, but it can also lead to heartbreak and disappointment. The author Zora Neale Hurston's who wrote the book "Their Eyes Were Watching God," the main character Janie's experiences with love can reflect how our experiences with love can influence our ability to feel and express it.

Janie's three marriages in the novel can illustrate to the reader the different types of love she experiences throughout her life. Her first marriage to Logan Killicks was arranged by her grandmother to ensure her financial security. Since the marriage and the love was not mutual Janie had no emotional connection with Logan and felt trapped in a loveless marriage. Even though her grandmother's intentions were all good in faith, but they failed to take into account Janie's own desires and needs. If the events occurred differently such as hypothetically if Janie was able to fall in love during the marriage the story wouldve taken a different turn.

In Janie's second marriage to Joe Starks it was based on mutual attraction and desire. Janie believed that Joe could provide her with the life and love she had always wanted, but his need for control and desire to mold Janie into a "trophy wife" stifled her and made her feel trapped once again. Joe's love was possessive and did not allow Janie to be her true self. This is also another experience that can mold someones future emotions. Feeling helpless in a relationship can potentially scar people. They can lose their ability to be willing to trust others so that they can prevent themselves from being hurt in the end.

It was not until Janie met Tea Cake who was the last husband she would ever have. That she experienced a love that felt authentic and true. Tea Cake saw Janie for who she truly was and even allowed her to find her voice and express herself freely. He taught her to play and have fun and showed her a love that was not possessive but was actually empowering. Janie was finally able to find fulfillment in her relationship with Tea Cake with all of this happening she knew that his love was genuine.

Our experiences with love, whether good or bad, shape our ability to feel and express it. A heart-wrenching breakup or a deeply meaningful love can have a significant impact on our willingness to trust and form meaningful relationships in the future. Even our childhood experiences with love such as with our families can also have a lasting impact on our ability to feel and express love. A child who grows up in a loving and nurturing environment may feel more secure and comfortable with love, whereas a child who grows up in a chaotic or abusive environment may struggle to form relationships and trust others.

Even if it may not be for all of us, Janie's journey in "Their Eyes Were Watching God" is a powerful reminder of the importance of finding love that is real and true. It makes us pause and reflect on our own experiences with love and how they shape our relationships. We live and learn within our relationships and we find out what it is we want or look for long term. Love is not just about being with someone; it's about finding someone who accepts us for who we truly are and lets us be ourselves. In my opinion if you have to hide yourself behind a mask constantly when youre with that special someone. You’ll end up exhausting yourself just because youre lying to yourself and the person youre with. When starting off it kind of makes sense to do so since you and that other person are basically strangers. However, over time you start to feel like you can be more comfortable with that person.It's essential to take a step back and ponder on these experiences to comprehend how they impact our relationships.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is a REAL Thing !

    Are you familiar with that fancy word PTSD or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder? It is a mental health disorder in which a person has difficulty recovering after experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event. This kind of trauma can take many forms, including military combat, sexual assault, physical or emotional abuse, or the sudden death of a loved one. The condition may last months or years, bringing back memories of the trauma accompanied by intense emotional and physical reactions.

    In Virginia Woolf's novel Mrs. Dalloway, the character Septimus Warren Smith, a veteran who served in the British Army during World War I, experiences symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. The main reason he got PTSD is that during the war, he witnessed numerous traumatic events, especially the death of his best friend, Evans, which extremely affected him. Woolf characterized Septimus's PTSD as feelings of numbness and emotional detachment. He experiences vivid flashbacks of the traumatic events and struggles to feel connected to his wife, his doctors, and the world around him. The main problem Septimus faces with his PTSD is the lack of understanding and support from those around him. His doctors and wife cannot fully understand the extent of his trauma and its effect on his mental health, which is also a modern problem. People around you are unwilling to understand what is going on. Rather, they began to judge you based on your current presence.

    In one of the most renowned British TV series, Peaky Blinders, the main character Thomas Shelby is also portrayed as a WWI veteran who also experiences symptoms of PTSD. During the war, Thomas's participation in bombing underground, and murdering in the trenches, left him with lasting emotional and psychological scars. Throughout the series, Thomas is shown to have intense flashbacks and nightmares related to his time in the war, and he often struggles with anxiety, anger, and difficulties. His PTSD affects his relationships with others, particularly his own family members. He had a hard time to expressing his emotion toward his loved ones. In difficult situations, his PTSD rises and makes him paranoid, and he faces difficulty trusting others and feeling safe in his environment. This leads him to take extreme measures to protect himself and his family, often resorting to violence and illegal activities. His PTSD also contributes to his struggles with addiction and self-destructive behaviors.

Septimus in Mrs. Dalloway

Thomas Shelby in Peaky Blinders

    Although both characters are in very different settings and situations, some similarities exist in their experiences with PTSD. Both characters served in the British Army during WWI and were deeply affected by the traumatic events they witnessed on the battlefield. Both characters experience symptoms of PTSD, including vivid flashbacks and emotional suffering. Another similarity between Thomas and Septimus is their sense of detachment and isolation from those around them. Both characters struggle to connect with their family members having trust issues. They also lack understanding and support from those around them. And the biggest similarity that both characters exhibit is self-destructive behavior due to their PTSD. Thomas turns to violence and illegal activities to cope with his trauma, while Septimus becomes increasingly paranoid and ultimately takes his own life. We also see this kind of situation in this modern virtual world; youths are taking their own life without sharing their emotions and trauma with his/her close ones.

    I believe it is mandatory to note that seeking treatment for PTSD is not a sign of weakness, and there is no shame in asking for help. PTSD can significantly affect a person's quality of life, but the right treatment makes recovery possible. Both characters provide insight into the long-lasting effects of PTSD, highlighting how mental health conditions like PTSD can be misunderstood and stigmatized. With the right support and love, one can overcome the effects of trauma and can rebuild a charming life.

Dissociation of Love and Sex

 

For this assignment, I decided to take a trip South to Manhattan to explore the Museum of Sex. After seeing publicists hail the Museum with rave reviews, I figured this was as perfect of an opportunity as ever to see what the hype was about. However, I still honestly approached the venue not knowing what to expect other than -sex. But, upon entry, I came to realize that the Museum was an experience instead of a boring, captivating viewership of history. The inventor of the Museum of Sex set out to create a dedication to, “the history, evolution, and cultural significance of human sexuality,” and that’s what was achieved. The Museum uses all means necessary to create an interactive experience that highlights the core themes, history, and public enigma regarding sex. The tour consisted of four floors of exhibits that gave you plenty to see and interact with if desired. These exhibits were all formulated to show distinct themes and characteristics of sex in general. For example, the ‘Pink Bedroom’ aims to show the effects that the expectations of sex have on women. I was struck because this exhibit was unlike any traditionalist museum I have ever been to. In the exhibit, there was a plethora of information for the mind to process as the room was draped in all pink objects that held significant, unique meanings - breasts, dolls, lingerie, you name it. Following the more “informative” section of the Museum, we were led to ‘Super Funland’ which as expected by the name was quite intriguing. ‘Super Funland’ was a fully interactive experience in which sexuality was displayed in a raw, unique form through different activities. There were arcade and competitive games involving sex, shows, bounce castles, displays, etc. which all really aimed to show the fun, non-politicized versions of sexuality.

Following my experience at this profound museum, I was left to ponder how I could relate this to our class. Upon reflection, I came to the idea that the museum just portrays sex as - sex. No strings attached, no emotions, and no politicization of the concept but just the consumption of sex in a simple, “pure” form. Then I realized that the thing missing from the Museum is what typically seems to drive sex within our society - love. In the Museum, there were no real references to the deep emotions involved with sex but solely to the lust involved within it. Through the bouncy castles, props, and films that I saw that day, the “sex” that I was exposed to was all void of love. Overall, I felt like the Museum accentuated the idea that love and sex were dissociated from each other. The exposure to so much sexuality completely strips of the feelings of love it. Seemingly the more exposure to sex, the more the romantic and sacred connotations associated with it decrease. Sex is then just considered an outlet to express the lustful desires oneself instead of forming an emotional connection.

The idea of the dissociation between love and sex is highlighted through the character Tristessa in the novel "Tristessa" by Jack Kerouac. Tristessa is a drug-addicted prostitute that’s subject to the harsh life that comes with living in Mexico City. Tristessa faces several internal battles in addition to her drug addiction that leaves her struggling to survive. However, a positive complexity is thrust into her life when a man, Jack Duloza, grows romantically fond of her. Despite everything surrounding Tristessa, Jack is drawn to the acute intelligence and beauty she beholds. Jack becomes enamored with Tristessa's struggles and spends the majority of his time trying to help her, buying her drugs, and understanding her addiction. Yet, Tristessa is unable to fully appreciate Jack for everything and express the same feelings of love he has for her. I believe that this is solely due to Tristessa being a prostitute, which in turn, has deprived her ability to emotionally connect. Due to her experiences as a prostitute, Tristessa is constantly being used for the lustful desires of others through sex. These encounters are devoid of any emotional connection which is usually the standard for what all sex is based upon. So the culmination of these emotionless experiences oversaturates Tristessa and takes away what her concept of love really is. Simply, Tristessa’s relationships with men are often transactional, and she is not able to experience love and affection in the same way as someone who is not a prostitute. In addition, being a prostitute greatly affects Tristessa’s feelings of self-worth and image. Working such a shameful profession has eroded Tristessa’s self-perspective and to herself makes her feel like she’s unworthy of a loving relationship.

How Memories Affect Us

        The characters in Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf and the television show Euphoria both struggle with their past romantic memories, but each character deals with them in different ways. The characters in both explore the theme of memory and its impact on present relationships and their wellbeing. While the characters in Mrs. Dalloway deal with these memories mostly by dwelling on them and being unhappy in their present life, the characters in Euphoria deal with these memories in much more destructive ways.

        In Mrs. Dalloway, the protagonist Clarissa Dalloway struggles with her past relationships with Peter Walsh and Sally Seton. The memory of her failed relationship with Peter lingers with her, and she wonders how her life would have been different if she had chosen Peter over her husband, Richard. By marrying Richard, Clarissa took the traditional path, as he is well-regarded in the community and is seen as a fine husband to have. However, Clarissa at times feels trapped in this marriage and is dissatisfied with her choice of settling for the safe option. In addition, Clarissa's memories of Sally are primarily associated with a sense of freedom and abandon. Sally is seen by Clarissa as a free spirit that exudes confidence and energy, and the two girls formed a close bond that was both romantic and platonic. However, as Clarissa grew older, she began to feel the weight of society's expectations and the constraints of her gender and was forced to conform to the expectations of her class and marry a wealthy, respectable man. Sally became a symbol of the freedom that Clarissa had lost, and Clarissa struggled with feelings of regret and nostalgia for their relationship as well.

        In Euphoria, the characters also struggle with their past romantic memories but in a more self-destructive way. The protagonist, Rue, is consumed by her memories of her ex-girlfriend, Jules. Jules was the first person Rue ever deeply loved, and their relationship helped Rue stay mentally well and sober from her drug addiction. However, when Jules breaks up with her, Rue goes down an even darker path and becomes addicted to opioids, which throws her life into an uncontrollable spiral. Throughout the second season, Rue's memories of Jules are so strong that they begin to blur with her present experiences, and she becomes increasingly reliant on drugs to escape her painful memories while trying to cope with living without Jules.

        Another love dynamic in Euphoria is between Maddy Perez and Nate Jacobs. It is clear from the beginning of the show that Nate Jacobs has abusive tendencies, and as he and Maddy started dating longer, Maddy started to realize how intimidating and destructive Nate could be. However, Maddy struggles to separate from Nate, as no matter how many times they fight and break up, it seems like she is not capable of living happily without Nate. She knows deep down that their relationship is toxic and harmful for everyone involved, but her memories and love for Nate keep her from stepping away for good. After all, she did love Nate and her love for him was stronger than her desire to move on from him, which leads to her consistently struggling with her attachment to Nate throughout both seasons of the show.

        In both Mrs. Dalloway and Euphoria, the characters' past romantic memories have a profound impact on their present relationships and their ability to be happy. For Clarissa, her memories of Peter and Sally damage her relationship with her husband since she constantly wonders if she made the right life choice in marrying him. For Rue in Euphoria, her past memories of Jules are so powerful and destructive that it throws her life back into a spiral as she relapses into her drug addiction. Also, Maddy’s memories of Nate impact her ability to move on and be content in a life without Nate, even though she recognizes that he is abusive towards her. Overall, the struggle with past romantic memories is a universal human experience that is explored in both literature and television since it is a common life occurrence. Everyone at one point can identify a time in their lives when they had a difficult time getting over prior memories and moving on, and these examples in Mrs. Dalloway and Euphoria do an excellent job of showing how these memories can affect people in different stages of life.

"Being loved is not the same as loving"

 What I say next may come off as an outrageous statement at first glance, but before you decide I’m an insane pessimist and completely discount it, I can explain. I think that fairytale romances are overrated. All they have ever created is false hope, ultimately leading to broken hearts. From real life to the big screen and everywhere in between, the strongest relationships, the ones that people secretly desire, are never the easy ones.

The newest Julia Roberts and George Clooney collaboration, Ticket to Paradise, highlights various types of love, each distinct from the others. The movie's most noteworthy relationship was, by far, Georgia and David's highly dysfunctional yet passionate romance. Their short-lived marriage right out of college is introduced as a mutually understood catastrophic mistake, with the one and only silver lining being their daughter Lily. Over twenty years later, Georgia admittedly still tries “not to be in the same time zone [as David] if [she] can help it.” That is until they get an email from the newly graduated Lily announcing her plan to move to Bali to marry the man she recently met and fell in love with, giving up her job at a top law firm. Calling a truce and flying to Bali to stop the wedding, the movie takes us on a rollercoaster ride as Georgia and David accidentally reignite their old flame while Georgia simultaneously struggles in her picture-perfect relationship with her young and charming boyfriend, Paul.

On the surface, Paul is basically a Ken doll. He says all the right things to flatter Georgia and plans out romantic gestures to surprise her, but their relationship lacks substance. This, compared to the intensity of each and every interaction between Georgia and David as they constantly bicker and compete against one another, masterfully emphasizes which relationship is more desirable. 

When Paul proposes to Georgia, Lily’s response to the announcement really stuck with me. She says to Georgia: “But you’re never your best self with him. Yeah, he’s kind and he’s got those eyes. But it’s not enough. Being loved is not the same as loving.” The ups and downs involved in love may feel horrible in the heat of the moment, but they strengthen a relationship so much more than anyone realizes. And the bumps also improve people as individuals, pushing them to improve constantly. As long as, at the end of the day, each member of a couple proves to be the other's biggest cheerleader and most dedicated teammate, the method by which they show their support can be nontraditional. 

And this is not a new concept. Mrs. Dalloway’s Clarissa married Richard Dalloway because it was simple. Their relationship gave her the stability her young mind desired, and she kept her independence even as they grew older and created a family. Yet decades later, Clarissa’s heart still ached for Peter Walsh. He proved that even after so much time had passed, he could still not provide her with the seemingly uncomplicated relationship that Richard has, but logistics don’t matter to the heart.

A straightforward relationship would, of course, be ideal, but not at the expense of other characteristics essential to romance. I rarely meet people who stay up at night fantasizing about a future relationship consisting of monotonous days with a person they live a virtually separate life from. As Clarissa and Georgia both did, though, people all too often seem to mistake tolerance or coexistence for love. Being loved is an extraordinary thing, but it fails in comparison to the feeling of getting to love.