Dissociation of Love and Sex

 

For this assignment, I decided to take a trip South to Manhattan to explore the Museum of Sex. After seeing publicists hail the Museum with rave reviews, I figured this was as perfect of an opportunity as ever to see what the hype was about. However, I still honestly approached the venue not knowing what to expect other than -sex. But, upon entry, I came to realize that the Museum was an experience instead of a boring, captivating viewership of history. The inventor of the Museum of Sex set out to create a dedication to, “the history, evolution, and cultural significance of human sexuality,” and that’s what was achieved. The Museum uses all means necessary to create an interactive experience that highlights the core themes, history, and public enigma regarding sex. The tour consisted of four floors of exhibits that gave you plenty to see and interact with if desired. These exhibits were all formulated to show distinct themes and characteristics of sex in general. For example, the ‘Pink Bedroom’ aims to show the effects that the expectations of sex have on women. I was struck because this exhibit was unlike any traditionalist museum I have ever been to. In the exhibit, there was a plethora of information for the mind to process as the room was draped in all pink objects that held significant, unique meanings - breasts, dolls, lingerie, you name it. Following the more “informative” section of the Museum, we were led to ‘Super Funland’ which as expected by the name was quite intriguing. ‘Super Funland’ was a fully interactive experience in which sexuality was displayed in a raw, unique form through different activities. There were arcade and competitive games involving sex, shows, bounce castles, displays, etc. which all really aimed to show the fun, non-politicized versions of sexuality.

Following my experience at this profound museum, I was left to ponder how I could relate this to our class. Upon reflection, I came to the idea that the museum just portrays sex as - sex. No strings attached, no emotions, and no politicization of the concept but just the consumption of sex in a simple, “pure” form. Then I realized that the thing missing from the Museum is what typically seems to drive sex within our society - love. In the Museum, there were no real references to the deep emotions involved with sex but solely to the lust involved within it. Through the bouncy castles, props, and films that I saw that day, the “sex” that I was exposed to was all void of love. Overall, I felt like the Museum accentuated the idea that love and sex were dissociated from each other. The exposure to so much sexuality completely strips of the feelings of love it. Seemingly the more exposure to sex, the more the romantic and sacred connotations associated with it decrease. Sex is then just considered an outlet to express the lustful desires oneself instead of forming an emotional connection.

The idea of the dissociation between love and sex is highlighted through the character Tristessa in the novel "Tristessa" by Jack Kerouac. Tristessa is a drug-addicted prostitute that’s subject to the harsh life that comes with living in Mexico City. Tristessa faces several internal battles in addition to her drug addiction that leaves her struggling to survive. However, a positive complexity is thrust into her life when a man, Jack Duloza, grows romantically fond of her. Despite everything surrounding Tristessa, Jack is drawn to the acute intelligence and beauty she beholds. Jack becomes enamored with Tristessa's struggles and spends the majority of his time trying to help her, buying her drugs, and understanding her addiction. Yet, Tristessa is unable to fully appreciate Jack for everything and express the same feelings of love he has for her. I believe that this is solely due to Tristessa being a prostitute, which in turn, has deprived her ability to emotionally connect. Due to her experiences as a prostitute, Tristessa is constantly being used for the lustful desires of others through sex. These encounters are devoid of any emotional connection which is usually the standard for what all sex is based upon. So the culmination of these emotionless experiences oversaturates Tristessa and takes away what her concept of love really is. Simply, Tristessa’s relationships with men are often transactional, and she is not able to experience love and affection in the same way as someone who is not a prostitute. In addition, being a prostitute greatly affects Tristessa’s feelings of self-worth and image. Working such a shameful profession has eroded Tristessa’s self-perspective and to herself makes her feel like she’s unworthy of a loving relationship.