Modern Love & The Lobster
Yorgos Lanthimos‘ 2015 "The Lobster '' is a bizarre and dark film with a dash of dry humor for flavor. Viewers who don’t overcomplicate things will appreciate its simple message— love and social constructs are absurdly complicated. David is introduced at The Hotel. In this dystopian society, civilians must find a heterosexual partner within 45 days or meet their fate of being transformed into an animal of their choosing. David is accompanied by his brother— a dog, "who didn't make it." The resistance are those who choose to remain single and reside in the forest dodging snipers. The Hotel guests are free to capture or kill the singles in return for an extended check-out date. After a sociopath partner kills David’s dog-brother, he ventures into the forest and meets a “short-sighted woman." However, the short-sighted woman is captured fleeing the forest. Since she defied society's rules of partnership, she is blinded as punishment. David rescues her and realizes he is in love. As they sit in a diner, David takes a steak knife to the restroom and contemplates using it to blind himself as a sign of empathy and devotion. Fade to black. The viewers are left wondering if he actually goes through with it.
As disturbing as the film is, it's not so far-fetched. If you think about the archaic social oppression inflicted on global societies throughout the course of history, this film is downright scary. There are significant political and personal shifts in our country and the world. Isolation from the pandemic stirred self reflection and non conformity. GenZ is the native digital generation, globally connected and aware of present and past atrocities. We are left to repair systemic racism, democracy, gender inequality and inclusion. The ever present threats of climate change, mass shootings, increased mental illness and crime. As a result, GenZ relationships are more fluid and don't conform to social norms. It is evident in “Modern Love", a weekly column in the Style section of The New York Times.
I captured snippets that address the absurdity of a dystopian world like “The Lobster.” The published works below deserve the spotlight without paraphrasing or rethinking their meaning. I specifically chose college students' submissions to show solidarity and offer another platform for their work.
My Choice Isn’t Marriage or Loneliness
By Haili Blassingame
Published April 2, 2021
I thought of my choice to be single and not looking but still very much loving. What I want are relationships that operate with a spirit of possibility rather than constraint. Shedding the identity of “girlfriend” has allowed me to experience the expansiveness of love. It has challenged me to stretch the limits of my relationships to see what they can be when relieved of social pressure.
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/02/style/modern-love-my-choice-isnt-marriage-or-loneliness.html
When Marriage Is Just Another Overhyped Nightclub
By Katerina Tsasis
Published Aug 7, 2020
People treat you differently when you are steadily single. They make you feel as if you are not the norm, despite the fact that U.S. census data tells us singlehood is, in fact, increasingly the norm. What does another person’s legal declaration really say about you? Does it confer validation? Does it make you seem more normal? Does it draw new boundaries around you? Does it make you seem safer? What I have to say to my friends who feel pressure from family or society as they navigate dating, relationships, or a single life, and who have been told they are somehow less than whole because they’re on their own: You are not. A full and meaningful life belongs to us all. Our experiences vary. We punish and reward people for how well they conform to our ideals without even realizing it. We punish ourselves when the things we’re told to want keep us from appreciating and enjoying the things we have.
No Labels, No Drama, Right?
By Jordana Narin
Published April 30, 2015
Women today have more power. We don’t crave attachment to just one man. We keep our options open. We’re in control. But are we? I’m told my generation will be remembered for our callous commitments and rudimentary romances. We hook up. We sext. We swipe right. All the while, we avoid labels and try to bury our emotions. We aren’t supposed to want anything serious, not now, anyway. But a void is created when we refrain from telling it like it is, from allowing ourselves to feel how we feel. And in that unoccupied space, we’re dangerously free to create our own realities.
https://www.nytimes.com/2015/05/03/style/modern-love-college-essay-winner.html
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